Reply to What does "completely potty trained" mean?

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Reply to "What does "completely potty trained" mean?"

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[quote=Anonymous]Hi OP,  I'm a mom to a now 6.5 y.o. boy who has had extreme issues in this area.  I would say that your son's current pattern definitely would have me concerned enough to at least call the ped about it.  My son had similar issues, and though they are much better now, they are still not quite resolved.  FWIW, our 4 y.o. DD was daytime dry by 2 y 4m and nighttime dry by 3 years old, so clearly this is not about us as parents.

There could be a wide variety of things causing him to still wet himself, ranging from encopresis to kidney issues to behavioral issues (ADHD, for example, which might allow him to hyper focus on his play while blocking out stimuli from his body).  We have spent a LOT of time trying to figure out how to best help our son.  It is a difficult, emotional issue because there is SO much shame involved.  Even many of the PPs, though perhaps well-intentioned, reflect the societal biases surrounding these types of issues.  No child who has trouble learning to read, has poor gross or fine motor skills, etc. is stigmatized as much as one who wets / soils themselves past an "acceptable" age.  And here on DCUM, parents of such kids are deemed "lazy" for not "training" our children sooner, better, etc.

Aside from the annoying, "What?  Your child is X years old and is STILL not completely potty-trained?" type commentary, there are also the "minimizers."  I think they are very well-meaning, with comments like "Oh, every kid has an occasional accident." This both dismisses the possibility of a true issue (whether physical or psychosomatic) and also downplays the emotional distress frequent accidents can cause for the child and the parents.  Really, unless someone has BTDT, it is very difficult for them to understand how difficult such an issue can be.

Anyway, like I said, definitely call your ped.  I hope that your child does not have the same issues that mine does, but if so, please know that you are not alone.  If you are interested in hearing about some of the interventions we have used, I can try to check back here and post them some other time.  Either way, good luck!
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