Reply to Something I'm willing to judge: Ghosting

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Some folks think that they are entitled to an "explanation" for why the guy that went on two dates with her is not interested. This is unrealistic.

[b]I think it's OK to ghost if the relationship was short, non-exclusive and you don't have any other relationship with that person. At that stage, no one owes anyone anything. [/b]

I think it's bizarre to ghost after a long-term, exclusive relationship. I am honestly skeptical of people who claim that this happened to them. People don't usually ust disappear out of the blue. There was probably SOMETHING that happened that either offended or upset the ghoster. [/quote]

I agree with this. I always used to say the first 3 dates are "free" - as in, free from obligation, prior to the term "ghosting" coming into the lexicon. If someone does not want to see you after up to 3 dates, they don't owe you an explanation.

Maybe I'm in the minority, but even when an actual 'this is ending' conversation happens - I appreciate knowing that it is actually over, and that they aren't dead in a ditch somewhere, but I don't want/need a reason. If it's a shorter term relationship, why do I need to know what they decided about me wasn't for them? That they'd prefer someone funnier, or someone who made more money, or that they are going back to their ex? I can't change these things, and they will just make me feel bad.  In longer-term relationships, unless one of you is a pathological liar, you both know why it's ending. You knew what the problems were, and apparently, the other person has decided that they are not worth the time/effort to work out. [/quote]

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