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[quote=Anonymous]I was a bit torn about when to have number 2 (admittedly not "if"), I felt I could wait a solid 3-4 years given how demanding my job is (lots of international travel + long hours) but at the same time I had trouble conceiving number 1 (IVF) so even if I was a bit younger than you (born in 1981) I felt time wasn't on my side.

Surprise surprise .. Baby number 2 came on his own without an IVF so my kids end up being 21 months apart.. When I realized I was pregnant I panicked: I was just out of sleepless night, under 2 years diff is a "guarantee" of max fighting between kids, it was going to be a nightmare...

Fast forward a year. I am so happy.My kids are 6months and 2.5, they love each other (seriously), the 2nd one is easy to take care off because he spends so much time being entertained just looking at the first. Are we tired? Hell yeah. Do we regret it? Oh no. It really feels like the lack of sleep is a temporary tax we have to pay for a year and then things will be fine.

My conclusion: there is no perfect time, if you have a second one you will manage and find the energy, it won't be that hard. Don't give up on a 2nd child because of that, it is 1 or 2 tiresome years, nothing in the grand scheme of things. Think long term. Now, don't have a 2nd if your dream family life in 10 years, 20 years and 40 years doesn't involve 2 kids and more grandkids, in that case stick with 1 [/quote]

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