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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
Thanks so much for the examples.  Dh and I have been practicing validation to improve our communication, but it makes so much sense to extend that onto the kids.  I have one tween that is extremely oppositional.  Life with him can be so hard.  I'm going to start practicing this with him.

I've always thought that he has some level of anxiety that must be causing all of his outbursts, but in the neuropysch testing we did a few years ago they said they didn't see it.  He is also a really extroverted kid and doesn't show sad emotions much at all either.  Never has actually.

Anyway, thanks for the examples too, they really help![/quote]

OP here, if you come back, I would like to know more about your extrovert - DS doesn't show lots of sad emotions, is usually quite happy but has that teen anger now he's well into puberty. The self-harm just seems so unlike him. I didn't even realize boys did this sort of thing. We have discovered he feels huge pressure from adults/teachers who expect him to be as mature as he sounds/acts/looks but he is really just 13. He indicates he's had trouble managing their expectations plus some of them (teachers etc) sound just plain mean.  [/quote]

He's really social, loves being around friends to play with.  He'll play with anyone really, just wants to have fun.  He's not good at entertaining himself unless it involves a screen.  Never has been.  My younger child could sit and play with legos or cars or whatever by himself.  But not this one, he would want someone playing with him.  Generally a happy kid, BUT at home he gets more moody and is extremely argumentative.  He can be the sweetest kid, but he can also get so mad that things start flying.

Verbal communication is hard for him.  He doesn't expressive himself verbally, it's all in his actions.  So when he's happy we see it, but when he's not we also see it instead of hear it.  Instead of showing sadness with being sad though, he expresses it with anger and angry actions.

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