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[quote=Anonymous]Here were three realizations that helped me figure out I didn't want them. I don't think there's a right answer, but obviously the overwhelming answer you'll get in society is "Children are amazing! Go for it! " so just trying to provide some balance.

1. I realized if I could somehow know for sure that my spouse would die in 10 years, I wouldn't want to have kids. Being a single mom sounds like a nightmare to me. I know you do what you have to do to get through, but I wouldn't choose it in that situation.

2. I realized if I somehow could know my kids would grow up, move across the country, and I'd only see them 1 - 2 times a year - I wouldn't choose to have them. I'd be in it for the long game, and the idea of adult kids you only see a couple times a year is super depressing to me. And I only see my parents a few times a year, it's a very real possibility. I know it's a selfish thing not to want your kids to grow up and go off on their own (that's what you're supposed to want), but just being in it for the childhood years wasn't appealing to me.

3. Finally, I realized if I knew my child was going to be mentally challenged, I wouldn't choose to have kids. I for sure would have done all the prenatal tests and would be open to termination, but obviously you can't count on a healthy baby/child/adolescent, etc. I know when you're in the circumstance, you roll with it and figure it out - but I wouldn't choose to have them if I knew it was going to happen.

When I thought about it, I thought... maybe if I don't want kids in those 3 circumstances, I just didn't want kids enough to make the sacrifices you need to make.

Don't know if that is helpful but those 3 situations in particular made me realize there are a lot of very real, very possible situations where I know in my gut I'd feel dissatisfied/regret over kids. [/quote]

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