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[quote=Anonymous][quote]Thank you for sharing from a personal been there done that perspective. You raise wonderful points.

I think I'll begin with just being more involved and having her spend a couple of weeks over the summers. I'm planning to take 2 weeks off to have her (and maybe two of her close in age cousins) come hang out for fun times. I told my I'll have someone to do fun kid stuff with again-water parks, amusement parks etc.

Maybe next summer it'll just be her for a longer period with a few organized camps.

Thanks to all who replied so thoughtfully and reminded me of the realities vs the bleeding heart thing.[/quote]

OP, it's me again.  You're welcome.  I think you can make a big difference just by being involved.  I come from a similar family background and for me, it's a niece in whose life I intervened in.  If you're interested, some ideas that I had, besides the ones you've mentioned are that I sent cards for every single stupid occasion - Valentine's, St. Patrick's, Halloween, Thanksgiving, July 4th . . .  And I always included a small treat - heart shaped erasers, chocolates taped to the card, a book mark, holiday pencil, etc.  Because I knew they had no money, I tried to buy her some things that really matter to kids, which varied by age - like brand name jeans or certain toys that all of the kids had except her, dresses for special occasions.  There were times where I knew that my niece wasn't eating so I paid for the school lunches.  I also shopped for groceries with her and bought her breakfast and lunch foods before I dropped her off.  I bought her winter coats.  I took her to her first trip to NYC.

Another thing I did was that each time we had a special event (and I use the term special very loosely), I created a some photo album pages.  Many years after she grew up, we took a trip and she brought the photo albums with her so we could look at them.

There are so many things you can do to let your cousin know she matters and that you care.  I admire you for stepping in.  [/quote]

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