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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Struggling with this as of late.

My MIL is very passive aggressive, a lot has to do with child, my first, and her only, grand.  She speaks about my choices out loud to him (it's time for you to stop nursing young man!) in a joking manner, but which is very clearly said for my benefit and so that she I will know she disapproves of my choice, what I am doing, etc.  Most of it has to do with food and/or how I care for him.  It is never that outrageous, but subtle digs that drive me crazy.  I am a first time mom who has had a tough relationship with both my mom (mental illness) and stepmom (jealousy), so the last thing I need is another unhealthy mother-type relationship.

I'm 40, why does this get to me so?  What's a good way to address without going over the top?  I realize it likely comes from her own insecurity about her choices, but I don't think it's kind or fair of her to instigate and be so indirect, while clearly getting in her disapproval.  [/quote]

Be passive aggressive right back.  It is the only language such people understand.  [/quote]

OP here.  Some great responses, thank you.  Nice to know I am not alone.  How do I act passive aggressive back to her?  She is just a mean, bitter old woman.  Actually, she has always been mean and bitter :) Example:  when EBF baby (years ago): "I am here to see (baby), NOT you!" - always wanting me to go out when she was there.  I had no where to go, and was so tired, I was in no condition to drive, but hell if she cared.  She came by only a couple times when DC was a baby.  She is local.  She did not want to help, just wanted bragging rights for her friends.   I hope that example tells you the type of person she is?

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