Reply to Visiting in-laws for 3 major holidays

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[quote=Anonymous]OP here. My husband is on board with me about this, though I feel stronger about it than he does. He loves to cook and likes the idea of doing Tgiving our own style. He has a good relationship with his parents and would be the one to tell them this is what we are doing. I like them, and I don't want to hurt their feelings. I wanted to check in with you all and see if this was reasonable.

Ironically, he did not travel to his grandparents' houses for holidays -- his holidays have always been at his parents house, since he was little. I traveled to my grandparents when I was little but maybe when I was 10ish? 13ish? we started having holidays at home.

I have tried to put myself in her shoes, and I understand how hard it would be to not have your grown kids come to your house for holidays (especially if that's how it's been since they were children), but I hope I will remember how important (and fun) it was for me to make our own traditions/holidays. I also think it is hard for MIL to take a less central role in the family and to realize that "home" for us is our home. She tends to be a little over-involved, and while I am happy that she wants to be involved and she is a good grandparent, it is hard to meet her expectations on how often we will visit, etc. And I can empathize with her wanting to see her son and grandkids on the holidays, which is why we will still go there on Easter (unless we decide to alternate Easter-Tgiving at her house) and on Dec 26. We can still have a big dinner with her on the 26th if she wants, have xmas cookies, presents, etc.

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