Reply to How does your child treat special needs students at school?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Does he/she try to get to know them? When he/she sees them eating alone at lunch, having no one to talk to at recess, do they shrug their shoulders and ignore or do they try to include them in a game or play? Do they speak kindly to them in group activities?

My child is special needs and after  years of watching how he has been treated in schools by peers and teachers, I have come to realize that parents and teachers are not doing enough to show the value of special needs children. My child has been shoved in the hallways, is the only person at recess to not have anyone to play with, and is bullied by exclusion even in the classroom. Children will talk over his voice to discourage him from speaking in class. Children will ask other children to not speak to him. When my child tries to speak to other children, they pretend as if they don't hear.

He has sensory issues and likes to smell nice things. He once took his scented lip balm and rubbed it across his own sheet of paper so he would have something to smell throughout class. His AAP teacher came over to his desk, confiscated the lip balm as well as the paper and then kept him after class for 30 minutes to interrogate him about his unusual behavior. He was not permitted to go to kiss and ride and I was left wondering where my child is. My child suffers from ADHD and sensory issues.

Teachers have, unbeknownst to us, reduced his work load and changed his curriculum in certain subjects to help him get through material quickly so they can simply pass him rather than suggesting additional supports be placed within his existing IEP. His education this year would have been compromised had we not learned about this and quickly jumped in to ask for additional supports in his IEP.

At the age of 9, after enduring these assaults and insults every day in school,  my child told me he wished he had never been born.

I am writing this in the general parenting forum to ask parents to speak to their children about how to treat special needs children. No matter what the special needs are, whether they are unmotivated or seemingly lazy in class, no matter if they have a tic, no matter if they make weird noises in class, no matter if they appear unintelligent,  please ask your children to go out of their way to be kind and patient with them.

Making special needs children feel included is a reflection of our humanity.

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Your child doesn't have "special needs"

Once you stop using that as a crutch, only then are you going to be able to help your child. Lots of kids have sensory issues. In fact lots of adults have them. They learn to control the impulse but your child with ADHD needs more help with impulse control. Medication and explicit instructions. "Don't sniff papers all during class. It's not acceptable classroom behavior." Kids with ADHD are often not pick up context or inferential clues. That's not a special need, it's lack of attention.

The social situation you describe -meh, happens to lots of kids labeled and not labeled by their parent. Approach the school counselor, teacher, and do work outside of school - arrange play dates, get to know kids and parents.[/quote]

It's "a lack of attention" based on a biological brain difference. Lack of attention is usually the tip of the iceberg- there are all kinds of learning and behavioral issues common co-morbid with ADHD. I'm a pp with a son who has ADHD- his differences affect his functioning and ability to learn both academically and socially. How is that not a special need?

Most caring parents try to find ways for their kids to learn and compensate to the best of that child's ability. That isn't what this about-- it's about teachers and NT students learning to be compassionate and flexible with kids who are born with differences.

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