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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No advice. Going through the same thing.

I've just learned that you can't stop people from making self-destructive decisions. You can offer another perspective, but that's it. Some people are just make bad decisions, and[b] feel self-righteous about their right to do so.[/b][/quote]

I think its pretty ridiculous to call someone's right to decide their own life "self righteous"- am I reading that wrong? How is deciding what to do in your own marriage, etc. self- righteous? Curious here, not snarky- I don't get that.[/quote]

Sorry. Maybe that wasn't the right term. And I was referring to the specific situation I've seen. But it's the way some people become defensive if/when you question their returning to abusive relationships.[/quote]

yeah, that makes more sense- trying to get perspective.

I am sorry OP, I know it has to be hard to watch your brother in pain or go through hard things. There might be a a different perspective on her side. There might not be and she might be an immature a-hole and it went down exactly as your bro described. But either way, if you hold the grudge and he let's go, it doesn't hurt anyone but you. It will eventually be something that becomes obvious too, and will serve to drive your brother away from you. In the end the anger doesn't hurt her, it will only hurt you. That's your motivation to let go of it. [/quote]

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