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Reply to "when almost divorced family members get back together"
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[quote=Anonymous]OP, u deerstalker d that the perspective you have on all this is clouded by both the love you have for your brother, and the spin that a hurt person puts when sharing such intimate details of their lives. She may not have left in a "mature" way, but hurt and desperate people sometimes do things that are more self-protective (eg. Run or lash out) than they are rational. Sometimes, desperate times call for drastic measures. Setting fire to something sometimes helps out things really into perspective. Catalyzing things sometimes make no sense, until much after. Likewise, consider that your brothers recounting of what went on was likely not based on rational facts, but on feelings and his perceptions. This is especially true to consider as you admit he had some fault for problems in the marriage- often people try to minimize their own role when things end. It hurts less to put the blame and hurt somewhere else. She didn't hurt you. She hurt your brother, and if he is willing to to work to get past that, it's his choice. It's his marriage, feelings, and responsibility. The work is ahead of him, not you. DH And I went through an incredibly rough patch last year, and I'm glad we didn't let everyone know. We were able to do the work on our relationship without having to defend or explain to outside people, who have their own agendas due to their relationships with either or both of us. Basically : butt out. Be gracious. Get over it. Time will tell. [/quote]
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