Reply to So many negative mother/MIL posts!

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Honestly I think the DIL/MIL drama is just two women trying to over exert that they are more important than the other.  I see this with my mom and my brother's wife.  Both seem to get upset over the silliest of stuff.  My SIL seems to be threatened by mom and overblows a lot of stuff.  And my mom finds every little reason to criticize my SIL.  When I read these MIL posts here I take them with a grain of salt, because we are only getting one side of the story.  Very likely some of the DILs here contribute to the drama.

I have a good relationship with my MIL.  I just accept that we are two very different people and that is okay.

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The mil and/or fil shouldn't be trying to exert that she/he is more important than their child's spouse. They aren't. If this is the dynamic, they are refusing to let the adult child grow up and fly.

Parents have to accept that their children will grow up and focus on their own families. If the ils refuse to accept that their adult children are grown up peers with new priorities, there are going to be problems.  I think that we now have generations of parents who have been over-involved with their children and fail at this transition. [/quote]

I agree. On the flip side, I think there is a trend for some younger parents to expect their parents to be [u]very[/u] involved in their grandchildren's lives, and to be offended if the grandparents aren't ready round the clock to drop everything and be engaged about Stella and Grayson.[/quote]

There is a big difference between what you describe, and a MIL who lives five minutes away but sees her grandchildren a couple times per year.  Not only that, if it is a constant p*ssing contest with DHs new woman in his life - guess what?  MIL is going to lose.

Is it so much to expect MIL to be older, wiser - and more gracious?  To know better?  A grown woman who has been around so much longer should know better than to have a chip on her shoulder about the DIL.  Let it go, MIL - your issues existed LOOOOOONG before DIL was even born.

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