Reply to creative ways to word "instead of bringing a birthday gift, let's contribute to earthquake relief"

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Reply to "creative ways to word "instead of bringing a birthday gift, let's contribute to earthquake relief""

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I just don't get this.

If you want to contribute to earthquake relief, please do.

However, I will contribute where and how I see fit.  Why on earth are you saying anything about this?

And it's especially bad to say: I'll contribute, but only if you do too (matching).

I'm actually ok with saying 'no gifts' despite etiquette's rulebook because getting gifts you don't want is actually a problem for you to solve (what to do with them, etc).  But I'm just outraged at being directed on my charitable spending.  It's just not your place simply because you invited my kid to a birthday party.[/quote]

Wow -- I think that's an incredibly odd perspective.  Are you also offended when someone dies and the family requests that, in lieu of flowers, you should donate to the American Cancer Society or whatever?  Obviously you can always go to the funeral without donating (or, if you hate the ACS, you can donate to the Komen Foundation or something...) -- the family is just telling you what they and the deceased would have wanted.  Isn't the goal of a birthday present to please the birthday person?  Sure, maybe I would pick a different charity, but if this child is really upset about the disaster in Nepal, and it would give her joy to know that she was helping those families in some small way, then isn't that the best present I can give her?  If I really was opposed to the donation (like it was an organization that lobbied for "traditional family values,"  I would do something else).  But I find it really odd to say that you're opposed to giving someone something that would give them pleasure just because you would prefer something else, for yourself.  If the child really liked crafts and was ambivalent about board games, but you really liked board games and disliked crafts, would you insist on giving the child a board game?  
I agree that there's probably no way to do the matching without it being tacky, but I think the thought was nice.
OP, if this is something your child really wants to do, then I think that's sweet.  If it's just you, then I think it's a little more tacky.  But, then again, I always had "no gifts" parties for all kids under the age of 4 and 5, and everyone always respected that.[/quote]

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