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[quote=Anonymous]OP, you and he sound pretty similar to me and my husband of 12 years. But I didn't have any qualms about marrying him (we were young and head over heels), and we're very happy. I would agree 100% with the "pros" listed above, that he is a wonderful husband and dad, and is never leaving us to hang out with "the guys"! I've never once worried about him flirting with anyone. (Unrelated great things about him -- we share values and interests, he's smart, cute, fit, and great in bed!) Downsides are that he doesn't enjoy most social gatherings the way I do (especially larger ones, or where he doesn't know the people as well). I've learned that it makes more sense for me to go out solo sometimes rather than try to drag him along to everything. We both have more fun that way, and although it used to bother me, I've come to see that it's no big deal. He's not great at small talk, and I think some of my friends might think he doesn't like them or something; that used to bother me more but now I don't care what others think. He can also be stubborn, and at times I've wished he had someone (other than me) to be a sounding board, because we'd be having a disagreement and I'd think: if only he had a good friend to bounce this off of, because odds are that friend would give him another perspective and probably "side" with me! The main issue is that he and my boisterous family don't click well at all. He can't work up the schmoozy small talk they thrive on, and they can't figure him out and feel rejected when he won't talk to them or laugh at their jokes. Sometimes it's hard for me to be in the middle of that dynamic.

So I think you need to ask yourself if it's a deal breaker to have a husband who won't always accompany you to things and won't be the life of the party. Are you willing to go alone (at least sometimes), and not resent it? Will it bother you if your own social life is more focused on you, solo, and not as much on "couple friends"? (We have a few, but that's not the focus of my social life, for sure.) Personally, I think those issues are minor when considered in the context of someone you're starting to fall for who is "considerate, caring, very smart and educated, same family values," etc. All marriages involve some compromise and some yin/yang. Wishing you lots of luck and happiness![/quote]

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