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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DH and I have been together 12 years. In that we've experienced finding each other. A business failure, infidelity, relocation, aging parents, promotions, celebrations, and life. We are very content, have worked through differences, overcome adversity, and don't resent / hate each other. I unfairly do most of the housework, work more "work" hours than him, he makes way more money so there is a financial (not work) imbalance, so ends up supporting the bank accounts more. Somehow, against all odds it seems, None of this is a source of contention with us.

We have sex in the same flowing fashion: sometimes like hungry bunnies, so,entires we miss weeks at a time. Not for lack of anything other than time and sleep. Neither of us is put off, upset, resentful about attention for the other.

We work together, compromise, disagree sometimes. I'm not overly find of his parents, but bring a pie and a smile when we visit. I wish he'd take out the garbage more, or do the dishes. He wishes I didn't take everything personally and would actually ask for help more often.

[b]Mostly at night, we curl into each other and sleep knowing we are a team.[/b] There has been some bad, but lots and lots of good through the years,  and we don't compete with each other.

Anyone else in the throes of a totally average relationship? [/quote]

This is what I want, so badly.  If I had this, I would be in my dream marriage.[/quote]

Yes... you want to curl up to someone who screwed another person while married to you.  No thank you![/quote]

Well, good thing for you that you've never had any adversity in your life.

Is it mush better to lay beside someone facing the other way, internally seething about the love you once / could have had? Staying in a relationship because of the money?

DHs and DWs are not mythical creatures above all humanity. It sucks sometimes, but the moment you wake up that' you have always been perfect and above reproach is the day you can judge them. The problem is so many people think they are perfect, while doing quiet damage of their own, to the person they are supposed to love, and to the relationship they are supposed to honor.

So many folks are very smug about not cheating, not doing XYZ, all the while missing the point about nurturing their relationship. When it happens to you, infidelity isn't always what you think. It's not even all about screwing, and even if it seems that it is, it's not. Again, it's hardly the worst thing that can happen to your relationship. [/quote]

Whatever makes you feel better about cheating! Some of is actually give a damn about our vows, and instead of sleeping around and curling up later we hash it out, get counseling, and then get on with our lives. You don't have to cheat to have a good marriage, but carry on![/quote]

It doesn't make me "feel better", but the reality is it can be over come. It did take counseling and a lot of time. We lived separate lives in the same house while working through it. And this to me is normal and average. Life is not always the puppies, rainbows, and bubbles that everyone wishes it was. Sometimes it's muddy gloves and dirt. And it's okay. It hurts like hell, but it's not worth throwing everything away for. This is my point: we are not special, and we over came it. And we curl up happy now because we overcame it. It has a lot to do with vows, with a commitment above all else.

Is it better to throw everything away because one person made a mistake? So many folks on here are either secretly cheating, or emotionally cheating by being hateful, passive aggressive, or resentful. To me, neither party in these examples can take the high road. Everyone can pick their poison, it doesn't make it more right if you step out emotionally or physically. People who would never cheat do their own damage by withdrawing, being angry, etc. etc. and hen qualify themselves that "at least they didn't". Really? What's the difference? A marriage is about two people. And if you hurt the other, no mater, you have to do the work to get it together. [/quote]

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