Reply to Elderly parents/in-laws: how to help them recognize it's time to move?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Not sure why I need therapy. Maybe because I'm willingly trying to my in laws to move closer to me?[/quote]

Because it's going to be a long and difficult process that brings up a lot of emotions.  I am speaking from experience.  This type of situation is very hard on a person and especially on a marriage if your DH is not stepping up and is forcing you to be the "bad guy".  Take care of yourself and your marriage by getting some outside help.[/quote]

Yep.  This is the PP who recommended therapy.  I did therapy when my family was dealing with a hoarding-related crisis of one of our members.  I probably needed it the least of anyone involved (though we all did)--but I was the only one with the time and energy to do it, so I saw someone who specialized in hoarding treatment.  It served two purposes--1) I could tell the family what she had to say about our situation and how best to handle my family member and 2) I dealt with some of my own low-grade anxiety issues and long-standing emotions about our family dynamic.

In your case, I think you and your DH ought to talk with a social worker who specializes in elder care issues and can give you some guidance and perspective on what might or might not work in addressing your ILs' complex set of issues.  Ideally, DH could also process some of his own emotions that seem to be clouding his judgment and/or preventing action on his part...it's really unfair what he's doing in leaving this all to you.  If he can't help you get some perspective, at least get a professional third party involved.[/quote]

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