Reply to Elderly parents/in-laws: how to help them recognize it's time to move?

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Reply to "Elderly parents/in-laws: how to help them recognize it's time to move?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't see how forcing a mentally ill, verbally abusive frail woman to move is actually going to be good for anyone--not her, not you, not DH who she isn't close to. It is late in the game to change the rather less than ideal path they are on--and really late for you tackle any underlying dysfunction. [/quote]

That's bullshit. It is physically and mentally unsafe for her to be in that house. It will absolutely be good to force her to move.[/quote]

It's worth asking the question.  From the OP's follow-up, I think they're long past the point of "convincing" MIL to move and more to the point that either necessity or possibly FIL demanding that they move would be the only two things that would make it happen.  Given the level of squalor and inability to move through the house would look like "necessity" to any sane person--that says something about MIL's mental condition.  And, if MIL truly is a hoarder, it may not seem to her that moving is an improvement--unclear from the facts presented, but possible.  Untreated mental illness can lead people to make conclusions that wouldn't seem normal to others.

So this notion of an "absolute" good...the only absolute good I can see here is therapy for *any* of the players involved in this situation, including the OP.

The fact that it's all left to the OP tells me there's a long history of dysfunction here, though....sometimes[/quote]

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