Reply to S/o cheating with no guilt

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[quote=Anonymous]Op, I am similar in that I actually don't consider sex necessarily a big deal--I've certainly enjoyed my fair share of mutually satisfying encounters that would not threaten a primary relationship. But, I happen to be married to someone who doesn't feel the same way, so I don't cheat, because I know that it goes against what he believes and he would not have the same reaction that I would.

I think actually I would have been happy with someone who was interested in an open marriage, although I think it can be very tricky.  At one point I initiated a conversation with my husband about deal breakers/cheating, open marriage, etc (in part because I was interested in opening things up). I told him that if he had someone that he just got his rocks off with, but wasn't in love with, and wasn't a source of primary emotional connection, then it really didn't bother me (and what i guess I was intimidating was...how would he feel if I occasionally slept with someone else?). His response was to say that he was not interested in that kind of relationship-and that he tended to fall hard for people, and to invest romantic attachment with sexual attachment. And for me that's a deal breaker, because while I don't really care about an occasional dalliance, the idea of him falling in love with someone else is threatening to me, our marriage, our family. And as for him, the idea of me sleeping with another guy--with or without emotional attachment-- was pretty much a dealbreaker--kind of a turn on, but mostly a deal breaker. 
So, we are, for the time being, faithful. Anyway, I get where you're coming from, but its rare to find others like you, and its even rarer for two people like that to have a successful relationship, free of jealousy, betrayal etc. [/quote]

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