Reply to relationship advice please: single dad, GF issues

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, if you moved her in, things will probably get a lot worse and fast.  When people tell you something, believe them.  I think at this point you are probably too scared to throw away a two year relationship.  It's an investment, I get it.  But this is not the right relationship for you or the kids.  They need someone who will care about them and this woman clearly does not.  [b]You are better off alone until you find someone who values your children. [/b] [/quote]

This a million times over.  [b]Find a good woman--not a girl.[/b]

I hope you find a partner who will love you and your kids.[/quote]

FYI- not every good woman wants kids.[/quote]

No one is saying that but she also should not need nightly, emotionally draining debriefing from the experience of normal daily life with her boyfriend's children. She may not want kids, but she can't act like one either. He has finite energy. At their age it should be spent on the kids. [b]Not dramatic nutjobs.[/b][/quote]

What are you seeing that makes her a nutjob?[/quote]

From the Op: "She is not bad with the kids, but not good either. little affection, just kinda does her own thing. past few months she has started to have meltdowns after the kids go to sleep. not always related to them (often stuck in her own mind), but sometimes she gets annoyed that the kids will always come first (and she acknowledges that they should, and gets angry at herself that she is not fully OK with them coming first). "

Her ambivalence combined with explosive moments sound like a nutjob. She can be ambivalent. Thats ok. But She needs to be supportively so, not taking his time away from a happy home life.

You didn't break her. You can't fix her.[/quote]

I don't see anything about "explosive moments." "Meltdowns after the kids go to sleep" seems to me like she is upset/ conflicted about what she wants vs what she thinks she should do, and she holds it in until they are in bed. Doesn't seem nutjobby to me.

I agree, this relationship will not work out. But I don't think it's the girlfriend's fault for not wanting kids, and I don't think it's OP's fault for putting his kids first. It just seems not meant to be.[/quote]

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