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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]They always think they don't need their meds when they are up cycling.  She has decided not to take her medication because she is not "in her right mind".  And, your know what, OP - your mother would have flipped out about something else in the restaurant if your FIL had said nothing.  Your Mom is mentally ill.  It is not her fault.  Of course you should invite her to your son's birthday party.  [/quote]

I do agree my FIL was out of line but he was only concerned. Yes my mom would have flipped about something else. Almost every family gathering is ruined by her. A few weeks ago we were at the zoo. Another woman happened to accidentally bump her shoulder in passing. She flipped out and started accusing this woman of being vile things and she did it on purpose. It's always outburt after outburst. She only started taking medication 3 years agô and goes off of it very couple of months. It's so sad and hard to deal with. When we do try to speak abiut her needing help, it's a showdown. She will scream, cry, play victim, and then threaten to fight you. It's insane. [/quote]

Let's look at the situation for what it is.  Your FIL was asking (I am going to assumedly genuinely) about your mothers treatment.  That means he knows she has had episodes and has sought help.  Based on your original post and the above, her flipping out was not an isolated incident.  Was it the appropriate place to have this discussion?  No.  But that does not excuse her behavior.  You cannot walk around on eggshells because she is refusing to take her medication.  Is your FIL not supposed to ask about your mom's health and wellbeing at all? That is just polite conversation in most circles.  She was the one who offered up the information about not taking the medication.  Should he have given his medical opinion right there?  Probably not.  He could have pulled you aside after the fact and expressed his concern.  That being said, the bigger picture is that your mom is not taking her medication and cannot be trusted to behave appropriately.  Honestly, that is where my Easter discussion would start. [b] Mom, I love you.  You have an illness and your illness requires medication.  Without taking that medication, it isn't fair to subject the family to a situation in which everyone needs to walk on eggshells. [/b]

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I totally agree with this.  I have said the same to my sister who has borderline personality disorder.  It's effective and it works.[/quote]

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