Reply to DW no longer looks attractive to me, what should I do?

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[quote=Anonymous]I'm taking you at your word OP that there are not other issues (like your libido etc).

First, how old are the kids?  If they are little, it's a bit of a wait-it-out time until they are in school and that gives your DW a little more time.

Second, as a DW of 17 years and we didn't marry young, and we have a good marriage, I think the sexual attraction ebbs and flows.  I suspect in the past, couples just went with it, but in today's highly sexually charged culture, many people feel pressure to always be at their past sexual level.

Our sex live has ramped down a bit over the last couple years, but our silliness with each other and cutseyness and cuddliness has increased.  Watching us, you would think we were always jumping in the sack because we get along so well and are so clearly attracted to each other.  It's just another iteration of bonding, I guess.

Re the out-of-shape issue, I think you have to cut yourself some slack because men are very visual, so it is what it is.  Then lead by example and also do something that's highly visible to her to help her work out ("You go for your walk and I'll do the dishes" or "Let's sign up for that 5K; we'll train by you going on that running loop first while I watch the kids, then I'll go while you watch the kids, then as a reward we'll go to lunch (at the place that serves great salads).")[/quote]

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