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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, there's a lot of evidence out there that having ADHD makes you more prone to self-medicate with drugs and alcohol.  But there's not much evidence that things like marijuana actually "help" ADHD symptoms.  It may be helping your husband, I don't know.   But there are better ways to deal with ADHD that don't impact your family so significantly. [/quote]

Yes, I know.  DH doesn't drink, doesn't smoke (cigarettes).

I am wondering even if he didn't smoke pot, whether he would just hang out in his room and play chess, anyway.  He is a shy guy.  Also, his room isn't locked or anything.  I can see him sitting there from the living room, playing around on his ipad.  It's not like he's in the basement with the door locked.

I wish I know how much was pot, or not.[/quote]

What does he do with the kids now?

I don't think pot is really the issue.  I think the issue is how much should he be interacting with his kids on a daily basis, in a healthy and engaged way.   [/quote]

This is OP.  His diagnosis was fairly recent.  It explains a lot.  I have been reading about adult ADHD.  Maybe my issue is with his hyperfocus, which can be formidable.  Maybe it's not the pot that makes him disappear into web-browsing, but his ADHD condition and his hyperfocusing.

I will say this: having children sure does bring out any issues lurking for years below the surface to bubble up.

When it was just me, he never escaped like that.  When small children and toddlers are screaming and playing, maybe the chaos does something to him and he needs to retire.  ADHD people can't multitask, I know that.

This thread has been helpful.  I have calmed down and thought through some things.  I think I owe DH an apology.

[b]Not his fault he has ADHD[/b].
[/quote]

It is his fault if he doesn't manage it well.  I've never heard of ADHD making someone fail to parent. [/quote]

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