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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP is not controlling, just really frustrated.

At the end of the day, you can't and won't be able to control his behavior when he is not with you. The best you can do to maintain your insanity is to work with dd to make sure she has limited time in the car with him. Drop her off and pick up as much as you can so he doesn't have to drive.  Make sure she has a properly sized booster and always buckles herself in.

[/quote]

OP here, yes that is kind of the conclusion I came to. I should drop her off more, that would help alot. He does buckle her in.

I remember when he had the older car seat in his car installed improperly according to the manual, and I proposed we reinstall it according to the directions, and he would bite my head off. He didnt even want to LOOK at it. It was a waste of his time. I just always drove her in my car. Now that we are separated it happens she is in a booster and we have the same kind so its all good now in that department.

When he is stuck in traffic he yells about how stupid everyone is. In one of the recent snow/ice storms he actually CALLED ME just to BITCH about how stupid people in front of him were because they werent moving. I said calmly, well maybe there is a reason they arent moving, like an accident. Turns out that was what it was. I was able to remain calm because that is always what I did in these situations, but the difference was my daughter was with me and I didnt need to see him because he didnt come home.

Yes people are really willing to assume certain dynamics in relationships, which is why knowing the truth is a huge help. He may have contempt for me, but its not justified. These are the kinds of issues he sees as being about "control". When he is not in control everyone is "stupid" and of course he is never wrong. Speeding should be his right, he feels. When he gets caught, he feels singled out, like there is some conspiracy against him personally.[/quote]

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