Reply to I told my husband I want to start seeing other people.

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Reply to "I told my husband I want to start seeing other people."

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, he's already not working on things. A person who has an affair who WANTS to fix their marriage will agree to the usual marriage-fixing plans - like counseling, for example. By design, marriage counseling that a couple goes to in order to recover from an affair will include a lot of discussion about the affair. It is common and totally understandable for someone who has been caught in adultery but who does not want to divorce to want to simply move on from the affair, not discuss it anymore, etc. In their mind, the past is in the past. They have made (or believe that they have made) a decision to behave differently in the future and do not feel that it is worth further discussion. You, on the other hand, have a different perspective and different needs. A good partnership involves both parties being responsive to and not dismissive of each other's needs. Your husband is not doing that.

I would strongly encourage you to go to counseling alone. You sound very lost and uncertain. Therapy will help you to identify what you want and will help you make a plan to achieve it. If that's reconciliation, you may need to face the possibility that what you want is not possible (if your husband will not take the steps that you need to reconcile). If that ends up being divorce, you will figure out how to navigate that process as well.

I wish you luck and peace.[/quote]

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