Reply to DH and I growing apart

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "DH and I growing apart"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I feel like there is an epidemic of this. Both work full time but the woman is stuck with the third shift. I know it's a problem in my marriage. [b]In my case, it's magnified by the fact that DH earns 4x what I do - though our jobs are equally demanding. [/b]

[/quote]

OMG, yes.  My DH does help out quite a bit, but it's frustrating that all my hard work is minimized due to my comparatively small salary.  My job is much more difficult/hellish/demanding, but pays less than half of what his does.  Still, it's necessary for me to have it in order to pay our bills.  Meanwhile, I feel like it gets treated like some kind of hobby because he makes so much more money.  Dude, DH, if I could afford to quit, I would, but we both know I can't, so drop the belittling attitude, please.  You knew going in what I did for a living. [/quote]

I'm sorry to all the wives out there where their husbands minimize the financial contributions that they make.  I can relate to all the frustrations of the women picking up the 3rd shift.  In my case, i make more than my husband and still have the responsibility of remembering everything.  Even when it's his responsibility he forgets a lot of the things and then it becomes my job to remember or take care of it afterward.

My husband (I hate using "DH" when i don't feel that great towards him right now) does a lot with respect to the kids, some of it b/c I saw where things were going when we were first married before kids so I started getting him used to taking on more responsibilities.  (It's like our parents' generation thought that their sons would have their wives to take care of them so they never held them accountable for learning how to take care of a house or raise kids)  I figured this way we wouldn't completely sink when we became parents.

Even with that, it's still exhausting.  It came to a head recently while our nanny was out on sick leave as I was shuttling both kids in to day care and since it's on site at my work I was getting very little done w/ having to run down to respond to situations in the day care for both infant or toddler and having to find time to pump.  I know that compared to a lot of other husbands mine does a lot; however, who cares if he does more than other men.   Why has the bar been set so low?

And another thing. I'm sick of the threads where people tell the SAHM that it's their job to do all the house stuff and child care even after the work day b/c the man is exhausted from having to carry the family financially and needs to unwind.  I think it can be a lot more relaxing to have no other responsibilities for another human being while at work versus having one or more little human beings dependent on you for their care.  Although I wish I could have stayed home on maternity leave longer, it was heaven being able to use the bathroom by myself when I returned to work.

Anyway, it does make me feel a bit better to know others out there are going through the same things and it's not just us.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics