Reply to DD12 missed a lot fo school this year due to stomach aches

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]She is playing you.[/quote]

As a parent of a kid with severe school based anxiety, it's not a matter of "playing" the adult.  Anxiety is an illness, and it can both cause physical symptoms (e.g. her head really does hurt) or amplify physical symptoms (e.g. what would normally be manageable discomfort becomes unmanageable).  When my son tells me that he feels too sick to go to school, he's telling the truth.  He does feel lousy, it's just that keeping him home isn't going to make it better in the long run.  So, I send him to school, but I do it with empathy, because I realize that the issue is an illness not manipulation.  I can say "I'm sorry, I know you feel bad, and I know you really don't want to go to school, but if you stay home tomorrow will be worse.  So, let's get going."  [/quote]

You know what?  All kids have anxieties and so do adults.  All of this labeling and coddling has gotten out of control.  99% of middle schools do not want to go to school.  Puberty is a tough time.  So I agree with the mild empathy but why every single post on this forum always goes to a label within the first page really scares me.  Kids can be quirky, not attentive, stressed, introvert, immature etc... It doesn't mean they need a label as an excuse.  It is their personality.  I think parents just want their kids to be perfect all the time.  Having a label gets them off the hook.

OP - unless there is a fever or vomiting, the kid goes to school. [/quote]

Grrrr . . . children are not cans of soup. They do not have labels. They have medical diagnoses, or they don't. They can be misdiagnosed but that is not a label. You do a real disservice to those of us whose children have actual medical diagnoses with this kind of attitude.

No one is saying OP should coddle her DD. To the contrary, all of us who have been there and done that are urging her to send her DD to school, regardless. No one is saying she has an excuse. But those of us who have been there have offered some advice based on experience. My DD was like this and it blossomed into full blown school refusal, driven by depression and anxiety. She didn't have drama with friends and was an excellent student. I didn't want her to be perfect. I wanted her to go to school.[/quote]

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