Reply to Thinking about taking husband's name

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Lesbian here — I took my wife's name, and I love it. I really wanted the whole family to have the same last name. I still get a little thrill every time I sign it – but being prevented from getting married for 15 years can do that to you, so possibly not the same situation. :-) In any case, it really does simplify traveling and stuff with our kids.

Change your name if you can do it[b] as an act of love and commitment towards your family.[/b] Don't do it if you feel like you have to, because you definitely don't.[/quote]

This is my view as well. We are a single family unit and I want all of our last names, including mine, to reflect that. I'm so happy to have married into my DH's family line and I am proud to have my name reflect that. Other people's choices are equally valid and should be made for their own reasons that they feel strongly about. I don't get the judgement on this issue.[/quote]

So you aren't your parents' daughter?

He isn't happy to be married into your family?

I can see changing your name, but OMG at your reasons for doing it.[/quote]

Of course I am, very much so. My children bear middle names which honor my family, in order to keep that connection. But my primary identity in my present and future is as a wife to my husband, a mother to my children, and co-head and representative of our growing immediate family, so that is now my primary allegiance and I personally want my name to reflect that.

I'm sure he is; he gets along quite well with my family, actually, and is friends with my brother. I suppose the same concept would have been served by him switching to my surname, but I have brothers to carry on the line so I didn't specifically see the need for this and we are both pretty traditional so I was happy to just do what women historically did upon marriage to signal the new start to their lives. It's a bit sad that men don't have a tradition of a change in name or style to mark the major transition of a wedding, but I can't exactly do anything about that other than be glad that I do as a woman. I found it quite nice.

Again, though, everyone's choices and reasons are totally their own.[/quote]

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