Reply to 12-YO was irresponsible, will cost us thousands; appropriate consequence?

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Reply to "12-YO was irresponsible, will cost us thousands; appropriate consequence?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I'm so intrigued OP!
My guesses:
- left the garage door open, resulting in theft
- forgot to crate the puppy, who wrecked havoc over your entire home
- left the door open to the pool house, resulting in a family of vicious racoons moving in and destroying the place over the winter

I would pick one thing that costs money that he is highly invested in, and cancel it. Camp might be a bit much, as he is only twelve after all, and the summer is a long way off - but a trip, clinic or lessons he enjoys, cell phone plan, etc. would all be fair game.

Or, instead of focusing on the loss of money, you can focus on your disappointment in his irresponsibility. You could all sit down for a conversation about responsibility and expectations. Make clear that this incident makes you seriously re-evaluate the level of responsibility you thought he was capable of, and thus you will be dialing back priviledges for awhile - essentially treating him like a much younger child - because you are no longer confident he can handle them  (you'll have to think through what this means in your circumstances). At the same time, brainstorm a list with him of ways he can demonstrate for you that he is in fact capable and responsible - for example, by being fully responsible for staying on top of school projects and homework with no reminders, ditto for other chores, taking on something new like planning and preparing dinner for you family once a week. Make this into a BIG DEAL, create an official plan documenting expectations, lay out the specifics of a probationary period with regular meetings to evaluate his progress, and clear ways for him to earn back his good standing.[/quote]

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