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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm probably in your husband's situation a lot of the time. Rather than say "I can't hear you when you talk like that" -[b] just walk away if you don't have to have the conversation right that minute[/b]. You don't have to engage with him when he's being short and starting up an argument, policing his form of expression isn't going to snap him out of it. When you know you need to discuss something that requires both his & your full attention, give him a headsup so he can come into it well hydrated or whatever it is he needs.

If you want to be helpful, you could bring him water & a snack when you start to see the "hangry" side come out. If you're fed up, walk away. But starting up a conversation he finds annoying and then policing his reaction really isn't helping anyone. [/quote]

Walking away without a short, to-the-point explanation or warning is just as rude as speaking in a disrespectful tone.

I don't see anything wrong in what the OP is doing.[/quote]

Saying "I can't hear you when you talk like that" is fighting fire with fire. It starts a fight. It doesn't curtail the obnoxious behavior; it escalates the situation from mild annoyance to hostility. I think there is something unproductive and wrong with that approach.

[b]She could say "let me know when you're up for a proper conversation" as she walks away[/b], but disengaging and exiting sets a healthy boundary and lets her husband know that she's not going to sit around to be spoken down to. It's not up for discussion, so don't stand around discussing it. OP has already made her point numerous times to no avail, so stop explaining it over & over again. Just don't tolerate it. Get up & exit the situation. Re-engage when DH is being respectful. [/quote]

Poster you're quoting. I'd bet you dollars to donuts that OP did what you suggest for a long while, and it didn't help. Because nice manners never help with jerks. Only firm boundaries do.[/quote]

If firm boundaries don't include refusing to engage when he's rude and leaving the conversation when it's not acceptable, then what does that look like?[/quote]

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