Reply to Worried I will be supporting my troubled (adult) brother

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My younger brother, in his late 30's, has struggled for decades with mental health and substance abuse issues and lives with my parents.  Even if he can successfully address these challenges (which seems doubtful at this point), he has no history of real employment and I can't imagine he will ever be able to support himself.  My parents are only in their late 60's, but both have health issues that will likely shorten their life-spans, and I am very worried about what will happen to him when they are gone and what I will need to do.  I know I should be ready and willing to take on supporting him because he is family, but I feel like DH and I have worked so hard to create a good life for ourselves and our DS, have saved so diligently for college, retirement, etc. and that is all going to be threatened by this situation.

What would you do in this situation?  How would you see your obligations to a sibling vs. to your spouse and child?  What, if anything, can I do to prepare for the future?

Thanks so much for any words of wisdom and perspectives on the situation.[/quote]

OP, I could have written this,  except it's my older brother and my parents are in their 70s.  Also exhibiting some health issues.  My plan is not a great one - my parents are leaving him some money, which I will manage.  I'll also arrange his housing, bills, etc.  The biggest challenge will be distance - they all live about 4 hours away from me.  I'm also the one who is and will continue to manage care for our parents.  It's been challenging.  And will only get more challenging.

Anyway - no great advice, but a lot of sympathy.[/quote]

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