Reply to Worried I will be supporting my troubled (adult) brother

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[quote=Anonymous]

OP - As mentioned by others there are some serious issues to tackle:

- Disability Monthly Cash assistance - Since your brother may have a disability that started later in his life, one would want to focus on the mental health aspects rather than any drinking because SSDI is not given to one if one becomes disabled due to drinking or drug use.  You would need to have your parents/brother go to Social Security Administration to get an application.  He will need to have as complete a history of his health condition(s) that prevent him from working and providers of care as possible.  Or sign a release for SSA to gather this information.   Since he has worked in the past, your brother might also be told that he may be expected to try certain other kinds of jobs if they are available.  Failure to do so might end his disability - unless he is granted total disability which may be unlikely if he can work at times.

- Health Insurance - If you brother has limited income and assets, he should apply for Medicaid Health Insurance coverage which will help pay for his mental health services. Note if he should get on disability after 24 months, then he would qualify for Medicare as his primary health insurance and Medicaid would act like a supplement as long as his resources were limited.

- Mental Health &  Substance Abuse Services - Your brother needs to be referred to the local agency handling both of those services as he may also qualify for Case Management services.  A Case Manager could be a neutral party to help him/your folks navigate the services system.

- Will and Special Needs Trust or whatever kind of trust would be appropriate.  You need to sit down and review your parents legal affairs as far as Will and their future division of assets.  We have friends with two wayward sons in their 30s who do not work and have various life issues.  When they go, their will says to sell their home and liquidate all assets.  Then a trust is set up - a SNT for the one with an identified disability and a Trust for the other.  Each would receive a monthly sum of month for their support.  It would in no way be enough for two of them , but it is the best the folks can do.

-  In your case   I think there are bigger legal issues to consider such as to be sure you and/or DH are each of your parents Power of Attorney and Health Care Designee in succession of each other after the spouse AND NOT dear brother.  Also, who will have his Power of Attorney and Health Care Directive??? These are also issues for you to think about with DH before there is a crisis.  Perhaps your parents could hire a lawyer to work in this capacity if you really want to keep a distance from your brother in future years.

It is going to be tricky in how you approach your folks, but maybe with DH along with  you to say you know they have the best interest of their son at heart, but it is going to take some planning and some prodding of him to do some things to make the best plan possible.  You may also want to think about whether it would be best for much of their estate to go in trust for dear brother and help you have a clear conscience of limited future involvement or not.  It really is key to be sure he does have health insurance and to see if he will get back to seeing a professional as needed.

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