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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Additional pressure I put on the relationship is to try and make my DW takes some responsibility for herself, which she does not like.  She blames other people - my family, her sister, etc. - for all her relationship issues.  However, when you are the common denominator, I think a bit of self reflection is in order.  [/quote]

This is tricky. Unless you get cold evidence like access to her phone and texts or her secret email you won't get the info. That said if you go to couples counseling you can discuss your issues there. Again be warned in all of my experiences in folks I know the woman failed to take accountability and projected back on the husband. It's really really tough. Again notwithstanding that you can start going to weekly couples therapy and discuss and work on the marriage. Most times it works out if you can stand it. In a few years you may get back to normal. Let her know you are working on yourself. It totally sounds crazy but if you show you are working on it it has positive effects several ways. First if things don't work out she will remember you as kind and she will eventually regret her actions. Making her feel guilty and defensive will only make things worse. She will not come around and tearfully confess and apologize. Men do this. Women are much colder after they lost love for their husband. By the time they have an affair they are already mentally out of the marriage. So if you want to stay married you need to take the very very very hard road and act counterintuitively. [/quote]

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