Reply to Don't stay together "for the kids"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This all seems so dependent on individual circumstances.
My marriage is not great, because my husband is a very difficult, moody person.  We sort of make it work, but it's not ideal, and there are weeks when he's in a bad mood and we barely speak.  If we get divorced, my kids will have to spend 50% of their time with him, without me as a buffer.  Currently, when he's being an ass, he can absent himself from our presence and we get along okay without him.  When he's in a good mood, he's a great dad.  While we're married, I can monitor all this.  If we get a divorce, the kids are stuck with him whether he's in a good mood or a bad one.  I just can't imagine that this would be better for them.
[/quote]

In this situation, it seems like you guys could essentially live as roommates, because there isn't any hatred going on, and you didn't make mention of you being miserable and unhappy. And 50% of the time, it's good. I think that is different than spouses who cannot stand to be in the same room with each other and there is an underlying hostility in the house.

Neighbors of mine needed to get a divorce. They didn't want to separate while the kids were young. They chose to live separately within their house. You wouldn't really notice it, because they had the appearance of a happy life. But, if you ever really paid attention, they NEVER spoke to each other. At kids stuff, at school, sport games, gatherings, parties, etc. They came together, left together, but the middle part, opposite ends of the room, never exchanging a word until it was time to go. It made me wonder how much the kids understood what was going on and what kind of impact that would have on them?

I only happened upon this information after there was an incident involving too much drinking, frustration, and an argument between the 2 where TMI was shared. But after that, whenever I've been in group situations like that, it's interesting to watch how married couples interact. Or don't.[/quote]

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