Reply to Support sister even if she's in the wrong

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op, I am a mom who is home with my kids. I question how much money your sister would bring in if she went back to work since much of it would go right back out the door for daycare. What I'm getting at is that her going back to work wouldn't solve their money problems. Many men (and women) don't realize this. Husband may want to divorce for other reasons, but working is a red herring. Don't fall for that. Also, your sister is in pain. Just love her. Loving her doesn't equal testifying on her behalf for sole custidy. Also, your sister may be blaming your folks, but she may also be trying to process what's going on. I'm coming at this from another perspective, always believing I would work full time once I had kids to the point that I had very little homemaking skills. Just let your sister know you love her, listen to her (which doesn't mean agreeing) and give it time. [/quote]
Bull. They have 2 kids of school age and the other could be preschool or day care.  Even if she only worked part time it would help. Not a red herring at all.[/quote]

Summer, snow days, before/after care? Telework isn't always guaranteed, especially for the newbies.

There was a thread in jobs and careers about a lady that was taking off too many days to care for kids over snow days.

Nanny takes a sick day/just doesn't show up/starts needing $$$ all the damn time for a relative in trouble?

Sure DC might have PK3 for free, but for the other kids there's running the kids to disparate privates, charters, etc., if they don't live in a JKLMM/Brent/Shepherd Park zone.

If the sister was some sort of bigshot lawyer whose rolodex still has some value, then yeah, she could make upper five or lower six figures working in-house somewhere. It'd require some networking and some effort, but it could be done, and the salary would probably cover whatever care costs. Of course there's whatever psychic costs of working 50-60 hours a week, but hey, there's psychic costs to the husband being the sole breadwinner and having a wife that insists on living a double-income lifestyle on one income.

If the sister has some older tech certifications but still has some common sense, then yeah, she could re-insert herself into IT at a low-mid level and work her way back up.

If sister was making $40k doing some sort of generic development work for some generic non-profit, then odds are working wouldn't really bring in any money and would risk having a workaholic boss who'd expect her to work all the damn time for not much money.

Working part time might work, or it might impose all the stress of having to find child care -- (and most child care centers will charge 80% of FT for part-time care) without bringing in as much money. When re-inserting into the workplace after a long absence one cannot be quite as choosy so things that WOHMs take for granted like telework, flex hours, etc., don't work as easily right away. The husband has to realize he will need to cover for some snow days, etc., and CANNOT just assume "Momma's got it covered." [/quote]

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