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[quote=Anonymous]

OP - It does sound like your husband and you might benefit from some counseling on  how to help his sister stay sober and yet move forward with her own life.  I do hope that her trust fund money or at least his part had some stipulations with it of how much access she should have to it.  If not, and if it could be pointed out to her the benefit of at least putting some of it aside for a regular, reasonable monthly budget to live on that would be very wise.  With a new baby coming, any thought of "direct responsibility" for dear sister's sobriety is way too much for your husband and you by turn to take on without some professional direction on goal setting,  transition planning etc.  Doesn 't she have a counselor who could give her with you or at least DH sitting in on a session some benchmarks to head towards.  Otherwise, it sounds like you have a very pleasant high school grad with no ambition living with you.  And it does not bode well for her at age 27 nor you all.

Another basic question - do you work full-time and, if so, do you plan to go back to work?  I would not consider leaving your new baby under SILs direct care even part-time at all.  She has only made progress to a certain degree, and she has the really hard part still ahead - learning to get back an independent life.  I would think topics to explore with her counselor would be possible volunteer work with regular hours, interest classes as mentioned and getting out and doing something perhaps health wise like joining a gym where she would gradually work herself back out into society.  Right now she is living in a cocoon of the safe and known, but life is going to change for all once baby arrives and the new baby should be your an dH's priority.[/quote]

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