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[quote=Anonymous]OP here, I'm just now seeing these responses (thanks).

I am trying to be there for the kids, and I can invite them to visit, but she doesn't have the money to pay for them to come out, and neither do I. I did spend a lot of time with them when I visited over the holidays.

I do acknowledge I did some crazy stuff when I was first divorced. But it didn't rise to this level. I found out tonight that she is on thin ice at her job (I think they are building a case to fire her), and she also said that she is taking money from this guy (and potenially other guys) because she is in financial trouble. Yet she is spending money tanning and buying cigarettes and new clothes. She gets up at 5AM to go to the gym (probably trying to lose weight for the guy), she works 8 hours, and then she goes home and says she's too tired to cook so gets take out for the kids. They are tired of it and of having to spend time with this guy.

Anyway. The upshot seems to be there's not much I can do other than be there for her and the kids, which I am and will continue to be. I need to work on controlling my impulse to tell her what to do and not to do. I am really concerned about the money issues and taking money not from us, her family, but from a man she barely knows and the implications of that. Thanks for the thoughts.[/quote]

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