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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Suck it up and hang out with them. You can't punish your kids by skipping holidays because you are annoyed with your in laws. Your kids are going to pick up the stress from you. Your coping mechanism is not a good one.

Most recently my in laws came for four months. I just lived my life as though they weren't there with occasion polite chatter.  [/quote]

OP here. Agreed- it's not a good coping mechanism. What would you suggest replace it?

W/o getting into details (I think you just have to take my word for it, that objectively some of this stuff is terrible) they annoy the absolute shit out of me solow-stress hanging out WITH them isn't that much of a possibility either.

And yes, 2-3 weeks is way too long.., but they are retired, don't understand/would be offended by the suggestion of a hotel/less time, and live far away...[/quote]

PP you are responding to.  During the last visit I tried to just appreciate the hilarity in their actions. (As in, who does that??)  I mentally narrated a blog bost about them.  Every time she said something critical to me I literally laughed as though it was a joke or pretended that I didn't hear her.  I felt so much rage toward them, this is what kept me from blowing up my marriage while they were here.  Also I complained constantly to my friends. :)

I practiced friendly passive-aggression.  For example, when MIl wanted to wash a load of laundry she just dumped everything in front of the washing machine, as though I, 40 weeks pregnant, would do it for her.  I went upstairs and asked if she needed help with the washing machine, maybe it wasn't working?  Minor victories.

I also did whatever I was going to do regardless, even if they were in the room. I would chat with them but not engage in longer conversations.  if I know more about what they do, I can give you specific tools since I have SO MUCH experience with in-laws staying in my house for ridiculous amounts of time :) [/quote]

OP here. Thanks. For me, again, the question really is about coping techniques. I, too, had a couple "WHO DOES THAT" moments that actually cracked me up inside. But, like you, overall I do feel a fair amount of rage and poisoning of my marriage and THAT isn't helpful to me at all...

Maybe it's just a question of which coping technique is the least painful...[/quote]

Yeah.  Just make surey our kids don't end up as collateral damage.  They'll notice that you are in a foul mood during the holidays.  My dad was always in a foul mood during major family events, including weddings and family vacations.  It put a damper on a lot of really good times.  Also keep your self busy outside the house as much as possible so you limit time together, but don't obviously avoid them. [/quote]

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