Reply to There's nothing I can do about this situation with my sister, right?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thanks for the comments. She is seeing a therapist; I have no idea how honest she is about what's going on. Basically this weekend was just one example of the behavior she's been displaying...mostly it's all just selfishness. I am hurt that we made a big effort to come spend time with her and her family and she basically ditched us all with no apologies. I understand some of it as she has finally got some freedom from her awful ex (and only a bit because she has full custody so the kids are nearly always with her). But the spending money that she doesn't have, the drinking and the potential pot use crosses the line for me[b]. I am divorced; I went through a bit of a manic time when I was getting divorced. But I didn't have kids. [/b]The thing that bugs me is that the kids are not little and they understand what's going on. They have commented that mom never cooks any more, she has changed, she is acting weird. I guess we just have to get through this phase and hope she doesn't do anything really stupid or hurt herself in the meantime. [/quote]

So you rationalize that although you did the same thing, it was okay for you but not okay for her.

Yes, her kids notice. No, the situation isn't ideal. But it doesn't sound like she's being neglectful or abusive- just not particularly attentive. You say the kids have mentioned that she doesn't cook anymore. Is she still providing groceries/money for food? If so, two teens are more than capable of cooking for themselves and helping their ten-year-old sibling eat (and the ten year old can probably make him/herself sandwiches, at least).

Just love your sister. She doesn't sound particularly out of control. It seems she's going through a tough time and making bad decisions, but we all do- even you, as you've admitted.[/quote]

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