Reply to help me move on - he is just not into me and its really killing me

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP- this makes me ask what were the reasons for his divorce? Was he dating then too. What would his ex-wife have to say about why they divorced? This guys is showing some truly ugly things that are going to just come up later and bite you. Don't be one of "Those" women who get in a relationship and down the road when it is falling apart you look back and go "Ahhh...that really was a sign that he would do this and that". Be rid of him and be glad you dodged a bullet. [/quote]

How the hell did you come to this conclusion?

He was open and honest about what he wanted.  She stayed and played along.

He didn't lie to her.  He didn't "cheat" on her.  He didn't manipulate her.

[/quote]

He told her he wants to date outside of her and doesn't want a commitment. He didn't just learn that behavior yesterday. This has probably been an on going thing with him. I bet if she looked into it more she would find out he has always been like this and will never change. Your right he was up front with what he wanted so it was her choice and now she doesn't like the choice she has made and needs to dump him before she gets the big "STUPID" label stenciled on her forehead.[/quote]

NP here. I'm a woman and I've only ever been in completely monogamous relationships. My marriage ended for other reasons. I am not dating yet, and have no interest in any sort of serious relationship. I may change my tune but right now my plan is to steer clear of serious relationships for a very long time and focus my energies on my kid. I'm not even looking for casual hookups right now but I expect I may be ready for that at some point in the not so distant future. It would be a first for me as I've never done casual sex.

I don't think OP's guy has done anything wrong, and I don't think you can extrapolate from his behavior a history of cheating. I don't see anything wrong with wanting to keep things casual and focus on his daughter right now. An exclusive relationship isn't just about being exclusive sexual partners. It's a major relationship that takes a lot of time and energy. He may just not want to invest that time and energy right now. It's great he is being honest with OP. Slightly lame of him to come back for one last booty call, knowing her position, but she could have said no. [/quote]

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