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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
My goodness, OP, you need to reinvent yourself as an adult with enough self-esteem that she doesn't need to act like a doormat.

Your mother is downright abusive. You have to think and plan ahead so that you never again let yourself be put into a corner like this.

For now, do not contact her. If she contacts you, say you are deeply offended by her treatment of you, your daughter and your husband and that you refuse to be treated in this way from now on.
In the future, you can have limited contact with her, hopefully never on her own turf. No relationship is better than the one you have right now.

And never get bogged down in an argument where you will be made out to be the evil one. Say you can't talk because she's disrespectful and hang up. 
[/quote]

No!  OP does not need to change AT ALL.  She sounds like a lovely person who wants her mother's love.  That's not a crime or a reason for her to change.  She does not need to reinvent herself.

OP, the other posters have it right.  Your mom will not change and by all accounts she's a miserable bitch.  All you can do is adjust your expectations to protect yourself.  She will never be the mother you want.  Therefore, given the mother that she is, what kind of interaction is acceptable to you and protects your feelings.  Also, keep in mind, your child will pick up on this eventually.  No one needs to see their mother treated poorly.[/quote]

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