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[quote=Anonymous]How long has this been going on OP? With your youngest being 9, my theory might be off - but it seems like some parents go through a kind of PTSD when the youngest hits 6 or so. They've been in hardcore parent mode during the infancy and toddler years, then something kind of breaks loose when the youngest its school age and they finally have time to breathe again. In my social circle anyway, a lot of divorces cropped up when the youngest was 6 or 7.

Another thing to look at is birth control. If she's using hormonal birth control, it might be time to ditch it. Incognita's advice was dead on -- but being more confident and getting in better shape and just generally being a more desirable man won't necessarily have a chance to work if her libido is nerfed by hormones. In my case, once I got a vasectomy and she got off the Mirena, then my going to the gym and being an attractive husband -- not just being a good Dad -- had a chance to get her excited every once in awhile.

That desperation spiral can be tough to break. She's never interested in sex. You try harder. She sees you as needy, gets less interested. You try even harder. She's still not interested. You get pissed. She gets even less interested. Now you're in a hole and it seems like there's no getting out.

Good luck. [/quote]

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