Reply to Sad about how the holiday visit to my family went

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here, we live far away and if the holiday wasn't at her house then she wouldn't be able to be together with all of us. Who can you hire on Xmas Eve/day to stay w/ my father?I said hosting she didn't have to do much and I or DH could have done mostly all of it but she does stuff weeks or days in advance. We did have some food catered. Yes, early onset Alzheimer's - he's 64. It's been a year he's been bedridden. He gets VA benefits and SS disability. Their house is paid for so my mother would probably be ok financially if she decided he needs to go to a nursing home. And yes, maybe I'm a bit overwhelmed and sound like an ungrateful bitch. [b]Only child too so this all falls on me. [/b]No siblings to support each other emotionally.[/quote]

Except it doesn't, since you're far away and your mother is struggling with it. And didn't you say you had a sister?
You may soon be part of the sandwich generation if you decide to care for your parents as well your children. Then you will have my full sympathy.
In the meantime, plan for that moment rationally instead of feeling needlessly put-upon. You sound immature for your age.
I'm an only child, my parents are 64 and my entire family lives in Europe. DH and I are planning for when my parents need care.
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My bad, I see you have an aunt, not a sister. However, my other comments stand. In addition, as you would know if the subject held a little more interest for you, nursing home expenses are astronomical, and the fact that your mother owns her home outright means absolutely nothing in comparison. She could very well bankrupt herself within a couple of years with such expenses.
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No question the situation sucks.  But what do you expect the Op to do?  Move her parents out to live with her?  Why do you think her mom would even go along with an idea like that?  64 is not old.  Op's mom could have many healthy years left in her.  Maybe Op's mom has been planning for her own retirement.  Maybe Op's mom has looked at the situation with her sick husband from all angles and she is doing the best she can with a really crappy cards that she's been dealt.   Plus the man is bedridden, hospice is coming in so he is at an end of life stage.  So it may make little to no sense for Op to "Step In" - it really sounds as though her mom is doing a very good job even though the job she is doing is depressing as hell.

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