Reply to Crazy mom awards: I am pretty sure mine is faking cancer

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[quote=Anonymous]First, to the woman who does not believe her relative is ill because of a cluster of auto-immune issues that tend to come together.  They tend to come together.  So, when she gets ms. allopeacia diabetes, or ms, you can pretend to yourself that is one more illness she is faking.

I have breast cancer. Stage 3 invasive ductal, had a double mastectomy. treatments and am currently on oral chemo [femara] I'm doing good,so far NED, and I should be fine, especially since it is nearly 3 years since diagnosis and side effects from meds are very minimal.

I almost killed myself last year. I am autistic, and I know that I will never e ms. popularity or anything, but, I really thought people cared,like a mascot or something. I grew up in a grossly dysfunctional family, and being the "spazzy little retard" was constantly raped and beaten by family members. When I was finally able to talk about it, I was told "you remember things different than they were" or "You are a liar," from most family members.

Over the years I grew close to my dad. he felt so terrible about his part in everything. When he died, after 40 years, they turned on me again.  WHen I was diagnosed, they said I was faking.  I had not thought they would give me support, but I thought those in the community would.  My family convinced people I thought really caredaout me that I was faking.  They were so mad that they decided to get together and do a breast cancer research fund raiser. I wanted to help but was told that it was innapropriate because I was faking breast cancer. Anytime anything happened in our comunity, it was decided it must be Vicky.

I reached a point where I decided that I must be faking cancer, and that I was delussional, and that if I was delussional about cancer, then I must be guilty of everything else I was being accused of. and that is was my responsibility to die.

The people at the hospital were asking how I could think I was faking. they said look at your scars, listen to your husband and kids, we've talked to your oncologist.

I still cry every day.  i am crying now because this hurts so much. i am a shell of me, and, yes I am autistic, but I was and am an awesome person. i have shown them my chest, my meds, my infussion bands, parts of the doctors records.  some of the people who believed the lies were actually with me in the hospital wen I had not only my matectomy but 3 other surgeries[fairly minor complications]

being accused of lying [autistic people are not fond of lying. most of us are compulively honest] has destroyed my life. please be careful who you do this to.[/quote]

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