Reply to Around what age should children be told about the suicide of a grandparent?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My uncle killed himself when I was very young. 8 maybe? I knew about it. I also recommend telling. Suicide is the result of an illness, and shouldn't be something to be ashamed of.[/quote]

+1.   I favor being open about this, even though your father feels differently.  OP, if there is anyone you "owe" privacy to, it was your mother while she was alive.  But, you do not owe that same privacy to your dad about his wife's illness/suicide.  Your mom's suicide and it's effects are equally the story of all those loved ones around her.  When someone ill demands we not speak about these issues, we often defer to them in the hopes that agreeing to keep their secret will at least encourage them to come out and speak to some key family members or health professionals when they really do need help.  I'm not sure that's the right approach, but I am sure that it is what motivates many family members to keep the secret.

When the ill/suicidal person is gone, there is, IMO, absolutely no reason to keep the secret.  Doing so only sends the message to others -- children in particular -- that there is something shameful about suicide and/or being depressed enough to consider suicide.  At that point, speaking about the suicide both helps remaining family members deal and can be part of a suicide prevention/education efforts for the rest of the family.  [/quote]

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