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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How do you people expect your children to survive in college?[/quote]
I'm 17:51, and I'll take that question. Everything I'm willing to do, I see as supporting my kids, not doing their actual work for them. That list is all things I did for DH while he was working full time and doing grad school at night.

In college, the kids will have more free time available for studying on a day-to-day basis. Right now they're at school for 8 hours a day, have at least a few hours of homework a night due the next day, and an hour or two of extra-curriculars.  In university, they will have maybe 3-5 hours of actual class time on a given day and the remainder of the day is available for study time. Even if they do have 120 pages of reading, it will probably be over the course of 2 nights not overnight since most classes are every other day, and they will probably have a time other than dinner time to do it. For high achievers, in terms of just time management, I think high school is probably worse than college or grad school. As long as it doesn't compromise my ethics, I'm willing to do anything I can in the background to support my kids in their studies.[/quote]

I think if you are doing their work for them and managing their time, your "high achiever" is not really a high achiever, just well-supported by resources.  That is incredibly unfair to the actual high achievers who might be one or two extra curriculars short for that Ivy admission because they actually did their own work and managed their own time and knew they couldn't fit that extra resume padding activity in.  In the end, though, that kid will be better off because he or she actually earns their own college admission and will probably be better prepared for college -- and life.[/quote]

You raise interesting points but we may have to disagree. I do not view helping a child study by creating vocabulary flashcards for them to use, or typing up exactly what they have already handwritten on a rough draft of an essay so that they can devote their time to math homework as "doing their work for them" because all of the intellectual property and work that is actually graded is entirely theirs -- their words on the paper, their independent performance on the tests, their unprompted conversation during oral exams in foreign language classes, etc. I would consider it very wrong if I was editing their work as I typed it out, or writing the answers to a homework in my words then putting DC's name on it, but that's not at all what I would do, ever. I view my role as providing behind-the-scenes support the way an administrative assistant might at work in order to free my student to devote their time to things that only they can do such as actual writing, or problem sets, or creating a multimedia presentation for a class.

Again, I am sorry you find this inappropriate, but I'm surprised that you do. I will have to think carefully about the issue, because off the top of my head I cannot see where it is at all ethically questionable. When I was in school we were encouraged to have our parents quiz our vocabulary or help us with drill to study for tests. This is something I thought was so clearly OK that I would have no problem stating publicly or to the school the type of assistance I regularly provide my kids. That you object so strongly gives me pause, so thanks for giving me something to think about to reexamine whether what I am doing meets my ethical standards. I definitely don't want to short change my kids or do something wrong and unethical.[/quote]

Wow, just wow. It may meet your "ethical standards" and be their "intellectual property" (WTF? reallY?) but you are doing your DC a massive disservice. When you type their papers for them, create their flashcards, you are doing their "actual work" for them. Doing these things for themselves is something they have to learn or they will not have any true competence. Here's the test: do you tell the teacher you are doing these things? If not, why not? Concerned they won;t like it?

Your child has gotten the message that he can't do it on his own. Or maybe that all that counts is memorizing the words, not figuring out for yourself a system for learning (and the systems or MUCH more important than the substance). Or maybe that typing is something someone does for them because they're too good to do it themselves. But you are completely missing the point that all of these things are part of education. That you have to know how to study, how to organize your studying, how to type your papers and most of all how to manage your time so you can do these things.

Wow. [/quote]

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