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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op : if I had only mentioned the incident of years ago, not the dd reticence would the 
Sentiment on this board remain the same? Even if it was years ago and u socialize now keep 
Your distance because you've grown a spine? Or is dd the tipping point to creating the distance? [/quote]

Who cares about the answer to this?  The fact is, you have both your own experiences AND your daughter's reticence.  That is the reality.  They very reasonably add up to a potentially awful situation and you are more than within your right to trust your gut and keep your daughter away.

You sound like you want someone to tell you that you're being silly and over-sensitive.  You came to the wrong place.  Too many of us know exactly this scenario, and how dangerous and trauamtic silence is.  The worst thing you can do is feel guilted into having your daughter around someone you inherently don't trust.  And you have no idea whether and how often he's done this to others.

If you are uncomfortable trying to create boundaries and keep your child safe, imagine how uncomfortable victims of more substantial abuse are.  Imagine what would be saved if people who had a really bad gut or their own bad experiences were able to at minimum protect others, but even better confront the abuser.  No, not everyone is going to be able to confront the abuser.  But you have no excuse for not protecting your own child, even if this is all based on a really bad gut feeling.  Better to err on the side of safety, especially since you DO have your own uncomfortable and inappropriate experience with this relative.[/quote]

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