Reply to s/o - How much should a DH who WOH earn?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I actually really like this question because I think it highlights the fact that the debate is always over the value of a SAHM vs WOHM.  No one ever really questions a man's value to his family or how much he should be financially contributing.

I imagine that was the spirit in which OP posted this thread (or at least that is how I interpreted it).

[b]The bottom line is, every spouse has a different earning potential, families have different needs, and you can't place a dollar sign on a parent whether they work or stay home.[/quote][/b]

OP here. And yes, thank you, that is the spirit of asking this question.

And so I have bolded what has been written by you, as a thread ender. [/quote]

Not really. There is value outside of your family if you believe giving back is an important part of your ethos.

If e family has enough money does that mean one person should be play golf everyday and/or drinking in a bar... Or getting her nails done a crowning a bottle of wine... Isn't there some value to give back in some way.[/quote]

Actually, not really.  What is giving back? Maybe just being "green" is giving back.  Maybe being pleasant is giving back.  Maybe getting nails done and patronising local business is giving back. Maybe just not being a racist is giving back.

There is nothing wrong with playing golf everyday, getting nails done, getting a spa treatment, drinking wine or going to  a bar - If you have the money and time for it, and you are not harming anyone.

If you want to volunteer - it is up to you.   I volunteer a lot. That is a part of my personality.  However, I do not like when people who volunteer start getting upset about others who don't. That is a very condescending attitude and it basically signifies that you want praise and acknowledgement for your volunteering.  You should volunteer because you want to and because it makes you feel good. Not for recognition and not to feel morally superior to others.

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No thanks, if 1 spouse makes "enough" money and the other is in a bar all day... Call me morally superior but that is not okay with me. If my spouse does not want to work I would expect them to do something valuable for society and if they did not I would not respect them enough to stay married. [/quote]

That is entirely your choice.  People are different.  What is of value to you could be worthless to someone else.

I have no problems at all if people are in marriages where they have a lot of leisure.  That is not my life and I do not care if someone else's life is full of luxury and they do not have to work.  I do not have a problem if some man wants his wife to be glamorous and spend his money.

Sheesh, it is their life and their earned money. They can choose to spend it the way they want. They can have the marriage they want.  How does this concern me or someone else I do  not understand?

You have a right to judge if it is your marriage and your finances.   Have your own life and don't be concerned about how others choose to spend their money and time.

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