Reply to Having a child who is not conventionally attractive (but still cute)

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[quote=Anonymous]I was one of those babies / children that got all of the comments. I still remember, honestly I can't remember one person who didn't talk about how beautiful I was. Then I hit puberty! Ooh my. So I had about 5 years of super awkward just timed for high school. Then by college and my 20's I was beautiful again.

I've always tried to be more than my looks. People said it to me enough that it was annoying - but only the way kids find it annoying when people say something predictable and prosaic to them constantly. At the same time, I feel like maybe it was a boost that got me through the awkward years, physically speaking. And yet, in my 40's, even though I'm very accomplished, professionally, I find myself mourning my looks as they fade. I don't know if this happens to everyone or if people who were less happy with their "physical looks" or who just didn't care at all fare better with aging?

Now I have attractive kids, and I'm not sure what to say to them - tell them they're pretty? I guess I liked it enough once the annoying part passed. So with my kids, I've generally been saying "you are really beautiful. Both by my standards and I think by society's. People will probably always find you attractive. But to be really beautiful inside and out you need to focus on where your heart leads." I don't know if it's enough, or the right thing, or what?

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