Reply to Wife doesn't want cleaning lady

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Wife doesn't want cleaning lady"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]I agree with what most of the PP have said.  My Mom is borderline hoarder and her siblings are pack rats and I inherited that gene.  Just based on a visit to my mom's house when we were engaged, my DH said early on that he wouldn't divorce me if I got to that point but we would have to go to counseling because he couldn't live like that.  In the back of my mind, I know there is a boundary and if I get to that point where it's that bad and I won't get help for myself, I have to realize that would ruin my marriage.

I also remember what it was like never being able to have friends visit because the house was always a horrible mess. My kids can never stay over at grandma's house because of the state of the house.  The weird thing is it never really clicked for me to examine why I held onto things until I had my Oprah moment when there was an episode on hoarding with Peter Walsh talking about the why behind it.  The funny thing is I rarely watch Oprah so I think a higher power wanted me to see that episode.  I started reading his book "It's All Too Much". I won't pretend that I don't still struggle but I'm not afraid to throw things out anymore.  In the beginning I had to tell myself things like "if I hold onto the past I won't leave room for the future" as I threw out the receipt from 10 years ago that I worried I may need some day. Now my issue is having a routine so things don't pile up for these big clean ups.

I also probably have ADHD and do get easily distracted so that doesn't help.  So anyway, I think it starts with mindset.  Wife has to be willing to hear the message.  I second watching hoarders (I do it to get motivated)  and maybe if you can find the Oprah episode (below is the where are they now on the episode that opened my eyes) http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/09/30/hoarder-oprah-show_n_4005719.html.   Mention counseling if she isn't willing to confront this on her own.  Hiring a professional organizer to help he go thru things and set up systems would be helpful just from the standpoint of where do I start but she has to be willing to see things thrown out or donated.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics