Reply to Dating Newly Sober Alcoholic(?)

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[quote=Anonymous]I agree with everyone that he is being unreasonable. But, I would cut him a little slack this early on -- maybe he is feeling frightened and out of control, and is worried that if you drink, or even if he can smell/taste alcohol on your breath, that he won't be able to manage the powerful temptation to drink. I would sit down with him and talk this through, and find out what thoughts and fears are behind this request. Hear him out, even if you feel he is being unreasonable. If you are to be moving in together and married in the future, it's essential that you are able to talk and communicate about his recovery, and your own feelings and concerns have to matter, too.

Recovery can be all-consuming and it's a tricky time to make major life changes like moving in or marrying. I would give him time and let the dust settle a bit, and get yourself to al-anon meetings because you will need support, too. His perspective about your drinking may very well change, once he becomes involved in AA (which he should). As PP said, it can't hurt to abstain for 6 months or so and go while he is in the early days and go from there.[/quote]

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